I think that we forget too often how incredibly blessed we are. We complain about our jobs, we complain about our houses, we complain about not having enough designer clothes, or money. The first thing that comes up in conversation is usually negative, complaining or gossiping about the days happenings. I am the first one to say that that is usually me. I am vocal. I am blunt. I don’t like when things don’t go my way or they don’t work out the way that had seen them working out. I try not to gossip, but it happens. We all have “those days”, and lately mine have been every day.
I have been stressed. I have been putting in long days and not been sleeping well at night. I try to hold things together, but between eating poorly, no exercise, and multiple people asking me to do things or fix things it was a terrible week. I was the complainer. I was the one who said “man, I hate my job this week”. I think that we are all entitled to those weeks, we have jobs, not everyday can be perfect, I am human! I was pushed to my limit and instead of overcoming it I just stewed about it. This whole year I have been a trooper, positive, coming to work with a smile on my face. I have been through a lot this year, but I have held my head high and walked tall and just gotten through it. The last two weeks were not like that, I was mean and angry and frustrated with just about everything and everyone. I made it through the weekend, it was lovely I may add, but I just didn’t want to get up for school again monday morning despite my 8pm Sunday bedtime.
I have been racking my brain all weekend to try and get out of this “I am so sick of this and everyone that goes with it and summer can’t come any sooner.” I have battled it with sleep, tea, booze, meditation, alone time, people time, and I just can’t shake the counting down of days.
Nothing changed when Monday actually rolled around. No motivation, minimal effort, crossing the easy things off my list of things to do. I was working on something that I needed to type in Japanese so I took it to my office staff member who is always very thoughtful and helpful when it comes to my lack of Japanese (and who I share my Japanese triumphs with) and asked her to help. I needed my address typed out and turns out I was spelling it wrong and I explained to her that I had given my card with my address written in Kanji to a friend who was visiting and they didn’t give it back. That at some point I needed her to rewrite it on a card so I can whip it out when someone asks me for my address. We got the thing online figured out and I went on my merry way back to my office. A couple of minutes later the staff member came in with a sheet of sticky labels that had my address and name typed out in Japanese. My jaw dropped. She said I typed these up for you because you said you have a hard time giving your address for delivery or in stores. I have these saved on my computer, just let me know when you need more.
Wow. What a snap back to reality.
I am so blessed. So incredibly blessed. When did I get so self-centered? When someone else takes the time to make my life just a little easier--and all I am doing is stewing about how to get through the last days of school? Reality check, Kelly. Big one.
Life is not about the negative things. Life is the rollercoaster of good and bad, the struggles and the triumphs, it’s not about holding on to anger, materialism or frustrations. It’s about learning from the low points and finding the good. Finding the blessings that everyday has to offer no matter what you believe.
I am blessed, not lucky. Lucky implies that it was by chance, blessed is something that is beautiful and deserved.
Have you said "I am blessed" recently? What made you stop and think about it?