I sit at my computer most nights trying to find something to watch. Between Hulu and Netflix I find something mind numbing after a long day at work. I look at my computer and think “wow, I should write on my blog.” For the most part I don’t do it. I lack inspiration, or motivation, or just straight up energy. Because here’s the thing, I have a full time job. I work in education which means that automatically you do twice the amount of work that a human being is actually capable of and then you have about half of the time to actually complete it. You have to finish everything in a nine-month span with days off here and there, and then accept the fact that unless you stay after five you will have a constant stream of students and colleagues walking into your office and the words “did you read the directions” never occurred to them.
Let’s get something straight: Most days I absolutely love my job. I appreciate the chaotic nature, the students, and the people around me. I get to work at a well known school in the middle of Tokyo at a job that challenges me, makes me laugh daily, and pays me enough to live the way I want to. I work my butt off everyday I go to school. I take my job seriously and I work incredibly hard to make sure that 100% goes into it everyday.
But because I work like that, most nights are spent trying to get ready for the next day and relaxing after a long day at work. I don’t blog often enough. I dream of being the next Anthony Bourdain one day, traveling through the world exploring different art and cultures. I would love to be on TV, I would love to have a bigger following than my dear grandmother (who just thinks I am the best writer in the whole world and why don’t you blog more often?!) I wish I could sell all my stuff and just travel the world, move to different places, and write for a living. But I won’t and/or can’t. I have to live this life until I am at a place where I choose to live that dream, just like I am living a different dream now. I don’t get a chance to really delve into the life that’s Tokyo. I work, full time, from August to June and I give that 100% of my time.
Recently (and most of the time since I decided to start a blog) I have been comparing myself to other bloggers out there. What started as an “I need to get ideas for my blog and what I want it to look like” has now turned into a huge I’m-worthless-and-have-no-followers pity party. Seriously, only 57 unique hits? That’s not even as many facebook friends as I have. And let’s face it, Grandma counts as like 10 of those. She’s my biggest fan.
So here is my apology: I am sorry. I am sorry that my blog comes second. I wish I felt that I had more time to devote to travel writing, but here we are. I am going to stop comparing myself to others and just be me. Blog when I can and hope that you still enjoy it, regardless of how frequent it is.
I love to write, I love to travel, I love to share my opinion, so there you have it. Here comes Tall Girl Travels 2.0.
So here’s a question, where would you like me to go next? Given that it may take me a while to get to write about it, what’s your vote?